{"id":333,"date":"2011-08-15T21:43:21","date_gmt":"2011-08-16T02:43:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/?p=333"},"modified":"2017-11-07T14:02:53","modified_gmt":"2017-11-07T19:02:53","slug":"some-tips-on-revitalizing-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/?p=333","title":{"rendered":"Some Tips on Revitalizing Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cPostcard .\u00a0\u00a0 .\u00a0\u00a0 . from the Edge\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The outlandish bi-monthly article prepared for our flagship Life Advocate<\/em><\/strong> magazine<\/p>\n

7 February, 1998, Anno Domini
\nFor the month of our Lord, March<\/p>\n

Some Tips on Revitalizing Your Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

My Jayne has been dancing like a gazelle about the house since late January.\u00a0 She is altogether beautiful.\u00a0 And I have always told her at least annually that her lips are like a scarlet thread; yes, and that her neck is like the tower of David built with rows of stones on which are hung a thousand shields.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t until this year that she really has responded to my compliments.<\/p>\n

Pay attention, men.\u00a0 I shall reveal unto you the secret of your wife\u2019s happiness.<\/p>\n

A little background.\u00a0 We were enjoying the fellowship of that august cadre of conspirators gathered for the White Rose Banquet\u00a0 when suddenly Don Treshman appeared with the latest news on the sentencing of Joan Andrews.\u00a0\u00a0 He was also scurrying about the room with a new book called Wrath of Angels<\/em>, written by two reporters who had attended the first Banquet in 1996: Jim Risen and Judy Thomas.\u00a0 Well, I picked up the book and checked out what it said about me and folks that I know.\u00a0\u00a0 As I read along in the presence of Jayne while she was putting dishes away, I yelled out a \u201cWoooo!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 To my wondering eyes, I read the quoted words of John Cavanaugh-O\u2019keefe, to myself, and then aloud: \u201cI think Jayne Bray is a woman of enormous sexual energy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, she just smiled and smiled – this 42-year-old mother of nine.\u00a0 (And her joy continues unto this day. Yes – I owe you, John.)\u00a0 She estimates that she will be happy the rest of the year.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it, men.\u00a0 That old lingo Solomon used with his wives and concubines just doesn\u2019t get it in the 1990s.\u00a0 You have to modernize and say it straight.\u00a0 So, I don\u2019t tell Jayne about her beautiful fawns anymore; nor that her \u201cteeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes\u201d; I just tell it straight out:\u00a0 \u201cWife, you have enormous sexual energy.\u201d<\/p>\n

This new knowledge, combined with all my previous family wisdom, has opened the door for me to conduct seminars for Promise Keepers.\u00a0 We are still trying to settle on a title for the course.\u00a0 The top two options are: \u201cHow to Have More Than Two Children\u201d and\u00a0 \u201cCoping with a Wife Who Has ESE.\u201d\u00a0 (If you think you would like to take this course and are confident that it will be offered, please send in $500 ASAP to AFLM for early registration and get a 50% discount off the regular proposed $1000 price for the ESE seminars – which will be held in Israel if we can get a cheap boat.)<\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s enough on marriage enrichment counseling.\u00a0 But, to be fair to JCOK, the quotation continues:\u00a0 \u201cand because she is a Christian, she has focused all that energy on one man . . . I think that she knew how to get him to do what she wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n

She takes the Fifth.<\/p>\n

In other family news (since I am on the subject), I report with anxiety on the progress of my 16-year-old daughter\u2019s betrothal.\u00a0 We are still soliciting dowries for my firstborn (See Capitol Area Christian News<\/em>, Spring 1997).\u00a0 I am sorry to report that since I sent out notices on the eligibility of this excellent young girl, I have not received a single genuine Philistine foreskin (a la 1 Sam. 18).\u00a0 I did receive an impressive batch of facsimiles from Ohio fashioned from pork rinds and am awed by the display of skill in the art of deception.\u00a0 And I did receive one fiduciary alternative offer – one man offered a son who owns a business.\u00a0 Tantalizing.\u00a0\u00a0 But the response, on the whole, does not bode well for the state of the Union (spiritually speaking).\u00a0\u00a0 And yet, it may be that there is a remnant out there which simply has not heard the word.\u00a0 (Of course, and \u201cHow shall they hear unless someone preaches to them?\u201d)<\/p>\n

Rather than despair, then, I shall briefly appropriate the opportunity of this writing to address any unfortunate souls who yet wander, unsubscribed to CACN.\u00a0 And so, for those who have not heard of our search, I tell you now:\u00a0 In the hopes of finding a chivalrous mate for my deserving daughter in this age of apostasy, it seemed good (and economical) to accomplish two feats at once.\u00a0\u00a0 The procurement of Philistine foreskins – let the reader understand – would serve not only to discover a valiant man of God, but also reduce the number of abortions in the land.\u00a0 Good stewardship and a very American two-for-oner.<\/p>\n

Now, having finished with marriage and family matters, let us conclude by returning to the Wrath of Angels. <\/em>It appears to be a fairly accurate representation of the particular figures that it covers.\u00a0\u00a0 But if this is history, much is certainly left out.\u00a0 Close at hand is an example within my own church.\u00a0 Just as my labors are overrated, so those of others are completely overlooked.\u00a0 My own church member, Kip Gannett, was responsible for organizing dozens of blockades in the D.C. area over several years including the two D.C. Projects for which OR received all the news coverage.\u00a0 (During the routine blockades conducted in the D.C. area without OR, little or no coverage was afforded by local news organization.\u00a0 Was this practice repeated with a different cast of characters in all cities OR visited?)\u00a0 Leaders chose cities where there was already good local organization and activity.\u00a0\u00a0 Thus, despite the pursuit of truth by historians, perfect truth is not easily discovered.<\/p>\n

And yet, what of all human events is important to cover?\u00a0 The salient fact is that there was and there is still a distinctively Christian resistance to the American Holocaust.\u00a0 Many of God\u2019s people, unknown to the writers of history, are known at the very least by the One who has called them and to whom they faithfully rendered service.\u00a0\u00a0 The one great flaw of this book, then, is not in the matters of fact; but in an erroneous presumption; it is a little early to say that the\u00a0 \u201cAbortion Wars\u201d were fought and lost.\u00a0 Perhaps so, regarding many \u201cProlifers.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 But if that is the case, it is arguably also true that the Anti-abortionists have hardly begun to fight.\u00a0 Time and the rest the story will tell.\u00a0\u00a0 Let us take heart and be encouraged, regardless.\u00a0 There are history books written by men and there is a history book maintained by the hosts of heaven.\u00a0 The Almighty sees all and will judge perfectly every deed.\u00a0 And when it seems that the wicked are winning, even victorious already, we remember that He says: \u201cVengeance is Mine. I will repay.\u201d\u00a0 And He will.\u00a0 How good, at times, to call His justice to mind.\u00a0 I close with an anonymous poem of warning and assurance:<\/p>\n

A white flag cannot end this bloody war,
\nNo water can cool this fire that burns on.
\nYou have lived in clouds of rebellion
\nThat are now being blown away
\nBy the winds of consequence.
\nThe peace in your heart will now be replaced
\nWith a terror in your eyes.
\nFor the fire that will consume you is a fire that you have lit.
\nThe hands you have killed with will decay,
\nThe eyes you have plotted with will melt away.
\nThe light you dwell in is about to be swallowed
\nBy an unfathomable darkness.
\nWipe the tears from your eyes,
\nErase the fear from your heart,
\nPut your knees in the dirt
\nAnd bow to the God who holds your blood red destiny
\nIn The Palm of His Awesome Hand.
\nIt\u2019s your choice!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cPostcard .\u00a0\u00a0 .\u00a0\u00a0 . from the Edge\u201d The outlandish bi-monthly article prepared for our flagship Life Advocate magazine 7 February, 1998, Anno Domini For the month of our Lord, March Some Tips on Revitalizing Your Marriage My Jayne has been dancing like a gazelle about the house since late January.\u00a0 She is altogether beautiful.\u00a0 And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[43,12,18,28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/333"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=333"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/333\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2361,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/333\/revisions\/2361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/michaelbray.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}