Michael Bray

Author of A Time To Kill

Paul Simon Redux

Paul Simon Redux
August, 2011

The following excerpt comes from the “Radical Fringe” section of the Summer, 1994 issue of the Capitol Area Christian News quarterly, published by Reformation Press (1994 until 2000). The poem was composed by Bray and represents the sarcastic, mocking style which characterized the publication in general and this section in particular; it was read to Michael Bray while being deposed by Planned Parenthood attorney Maria Vullo (cir. 1995) for the purpose of bolstering the speech suppressing PP v. ACLA lawsuit. Vullo was attempting to elicit some juicy comments from the editor as she asked him about its authorship and the meaning of the literature. Of course, poetry is poetry, and the author was not interested in spoiling the interpretation of readers nor divulging the nature of his own meditations – or hopes or dreams.

CACN, June, 1994

A Little National News . . .
for the

Alright all you lunatics. Here is your quarterly dose of good news. Sorry you had to wade through the other print to get this section. But it is good for you to learn patience. Nevertheless, by the grace of God you can now relax and enjoy some good news. Peace be with you.

We begin with a little music. Paul Simon has new and improved lyrics for his hit tune of about a decade ago (or was it two?). Here it is: “50 Ways to Save a Baby.”

Sit down in the back, Jack
Or play with the lock, Doc
Get thrown in the bus, Gus
Just listen to me.

Just break off the key, Lee
Squeeze in the glue, Sue
Shoot up the wall, Paul
Just listen to me.

You can write to the Hill, Jill
Or just blow up the mill, Bill
Get out your gun, Son
Don’t stop with just one.

And get yo’ se-e-e-elf three.

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